Clinically Approved: Self-Help Tools For Anxiety

By K Health
Medically reviewed checkmarkMedically reviewed
October 7, 2020

Currently, 18% of US adults are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder every year. And the majority of us have likely experienced the emotional state of anxiety, even if only for just a few brief moments— maybe when you got lost on your way to an interview, couldn’t find your keys before work, or looked out over the edge of a high building. Despite its prevalence, it’s estimated that only 37% of those experiencing an anxiety disorder actually receive treatment.

While many people are at least somewhat familiar with the basic strategies for improving their anxiety (e.g. deep breathing, exercising, talking to a friend, and practicing mindfulness and/or yoga), there are many more techniques and interventions people can apply to help themselves overcome their anxiety.

In this article, we will review some key Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques you can use to help you manage your anxiety. These self-help methods were drawn from the books, Feeling Good and When Panic Attacks, both written by world-renowned psychiatrist, Dr. David Burns.

If you’re having a mental health emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can also get free 24/7 support from a suicide and crisis expert by calling or texting 988. If you’d prefer to chat online, you can chat with a suicide and crisis expert by visiting the Lifeline Chat.

Anxiety Advantages

Interestingly, little attention has been placed on the advantages and positive attributes anxious thoughts and feelings show about us. Anxiety is often something we try to suppress, ignore, or get rid of because it’s an uncomfortable feeling. However, anxiety may bring certain positive outcomes. An initial self-help exercise you can try is to write out the advantages of your negative, worrisome, or anxious thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself how they might help you, protect you, or benefit you. For example, what are the benefits of: “If I make a mistake, I’m going to lose my job?” The thought could motivate you. It could help you feel accomplished if you do well and are promoted rather than fired. It could also allow you to prepare for the worst.

Additionally, make a separate list of positive attributes the negative thoughts and anxiety show about you, and how they reflect what you care about most. For example, the negative thought above would show that you care about doing great work, maintaining a job and a reasonable reputation, and your future.

This isn’t just a prescription to “look on the bright side.” It’s a powerful tool that can help make your anxiety seem less threatening. The exercise can also expose any ambivalence you have about letting go of your anxiety that may be getting in the way of your recovery. Once you’ve written down your answers, talk through them with a therapist, a trusted family member, or a friend.

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Check Your “Cognitive Distortions”

Have you ever heard the expression, “Don’t believe everything you think?” Our beliefs are sometimes inaccurate, flawed, or distorted. When you feel anxious, take a closer look at what it is you are saying to yourself and check your thoughts against the list of “cognitive distortions” below. Do you notice any flaws in your thinking? The most common cognitive distortions amongst those who experience anxiety are: jumping to conclusions, assuming what others are thinking, and fortune-telling or predicting that things will turn out badly (typically with questionable evidence).

All-or-nothing thinking

You think about things in absolute, black-and-white categories. You are either a success or a failure. Your performance was totally good or totally bad. If you are not perfect, then you are a failure. This binary approach does not account for shades of gray.


You view a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. You draw faulty conclusions about something based on just one example. After interviewing for and not getting a job, you may overgeneralize by thinking you’ll never be able to get a job.

Mental filter

You focus and dwell on the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones.

Discounting positives

You insist that your positive qualities and experiences don’t count.

Jumping to conclusions

You jump to conclusions not warranted by the facts. There are two ways people often do this:

  • Mind-reading: You assume you know what other people think. Commonly, people inaccurately think others will react negatively to them.
  • Fortune telling: You predict or assume that things will turn out badly.

Magnification or minimization

You blow things way out of proportion or shrink the importance of a positive or negative event.

Emotional reasoning

You reason from your feelings. For example: “I feel like an idiot, so I must be one.” Or “I feel hopeless. This means I’ll never get better.”

Should statements

You criticize yourself or other people with “shoulds,” “shouldn’ts,” “musts,” “oughts,” and “have-tos.”

  • “I should” statements: Lead to feelings of guilt and inferiority.
  • “Others’ should” statements: Lead to feelings of bitterness, anger, and frustration.

Labeling (ourselves or others)

We take one narrow characteristic about ourselves or someone else and globally apply it to the whole person. Rather than objectively considering the behavior, we engage in “labeling” (and often ignore information that doesn’t fit under the umbrella of the label). For example, “Because I didn’t do well on a test, that makes me a failure,” or “Because she is frequently late to work, she is irresponsible.”


You focus on finding fault instead of solving the problem. There are two ways this is done:

  • Self-blame: You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for.
  • Other-blame: You blame others from a “victim perspective” and overlook ways you contributed to the problem.

Ditch the Double Standards

There is growing evidence of a correlation between niceness and anxiety, as people who are anxious are more commonly very nice and caring individuals. On one hand, anxious people typically present to others as kind and caring, but on the other hand, internally, they may be preoccupied with cruel and critical feedback about themselves that they would never actually say to someone else.

When experiencing a negative belief, ask yourself if you would say such harsh things to a friend or family member—and if not, what would you say to them? At that point, it’s a good idea to begin to take your own brilliant advice! For example, if a friend had an upcoming interview for a job, would you tell them “You are going to blow it. You will make an absolute fool of yourself, and there’s no chance they will hire you.” I’m guessing not! Take a moment and rethink what you would tell someone who had an upcoming interview for example.

Balance Your Perspective

Instead of outright buying into your negative belief, consider a perspective that incorporates healthy acceptance and self-defense (against the negative belief). For example, if you were thinking, “ I will fail my big presentation,” a balanced perspective could be: “It’s possible that I will fail the presentation, but I would survive and learn from the mistake” (healthy acceptance).

On the other hand, I can’t predict the future, so saying I am going to fail the presentation is not fair. In reality, it’s possible I’ll do a pretty good job (or maybe even a great job!), and I have evidence of doing well on presentations in the past (self-defense).

Try this 50/50 balanced perspective technique out with your own anxious thoughts and discuss the changes you’re implementing with a therapist or trusted family member or friend.

Face Your Fears

One of the hallmark behaviors of individuals experiencing anxiety is avoidance. Over the course of time, humans have learned that dangerous things are to be avoided. That said, when feeling anxious, the things that are being avoided (asking someone out on a date, public speaking, heights, interviews, etc) are perceived to be dangerous, but are not actually dangerous. Given such, one of the most important things you can do to help yourself overcome anxiety is to face your fears! Running away and avoiding the things we fear actually helps keep the anxiety alive. The clinical term for this method is “exposure therapy” because you work to expose yourself to the events, people, or items you fear most. People often find that the things they feared were not nearly as scary or negative as they imagined.

Gradual Exposure and Flooding

When you use gradual exposure, you expose yourself to the thing you fear in small steps so that it won’t be so terrifying. For example, if you have an elevator phobia, you could first look at photos of elevators, then watch YouTube videos of people riding in elevators, then stand in front of an elevator, then briefly stand in an elevator with the door open, then ride the elevator for a few minutes.

In contrast, when you use flooding, you expose yourself to the thing you fear most, all at once.Example: If you have an elevator phobia, you could force yourself to ride up and down an elevator and stay there, no matter how anxious you feel, until your fear disappears.

Cognitive/Imaginal Exposure

Sometimes we aren’t able to practice in-person exposure techniques, but we can do so in our imaginations. Close your eyes and visualize your worst fears in your “mind’s eye.” Try to endure the anxiety for as long as you can. If you become panicky, tell yourself, “Don’t fight it!” Instead, try to make it even worse. Eventually, your anxiety will burn itself out, because your body simply cannot create anxiety indefinitely.

  • Example: If you have a fear of flying, you can’t expose yourself to an actual airplane crash, but you could overcome your anxiety by confronting your fear in your mind’s eye.

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Bonus Self-Help Tips for Anxiety

In addition to the CBT technique we listed above for anxiety, here are a few other self-help techniques and lifestyle changes to consider:

  • Practice assertiveness (that is, express your thoughts and feelings)
  • Exercise consistently
  • Practice mindfulness/meditation
  • Engage in hobbies and play
  • Practice deep breathing
  • Ensure you are satisfied with your job/career
  • Maintain good work-life balance and use your paid time off
  • Ensure your relationships are healthy
  • Get quality sleep
  • Eat a balanced diet
  • Avoid alcohol, caffeine, cigarettes, and other drugs.

Like developing any new skill, all of these techniques and lifestyle changes take practice and time. If you are not finding relief from your anxiety on your own, it’s a good idea to seek out assistance from a trained mental health professional. K Health offers K Therapy, a text-based therapy program that includes unlimited messaging with a licensed therapist, plus free resources designed by mental health experts to use on your own. You can also read about anxiety treatment options or download K Health to chat with a doctor about your symptoms, get help with prescriptions, or receive a referral to other doctors who can help.

How K Health Can Help

Anxiety and depression are among the most under-reported and under-treated diseases in America. Nearly 20% of adults in the US experience mental health illness and fewer than half receive treatment. Our mission is to increase access to treatment for those experiencing mental illness in silence.

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K Health articles are all written and reviewed by MDs, PhDs, NPs, or PharmDs and are for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute and should not be relied on for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment.

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